Lost in Translation: Androgyny in CLAMP's RG Veda and Wish

"I, you, he, she, it, we, you, and they." The eight pronouns of the English language which every grade school grammar student has drilled into his or her head as they begin to master the language. Each of the eight do their fair share of assuring that referring to oneself and others is a simple task without much complication, but these pronouns do hit a roadblock when it comes to the word "it." The English language forgoes gendering objects like other European languages such as French, so "It" is our genderless pronoun, the one that stands in the place of numerous objects, abstract ideas, intangibles,  etc. Even things that do have gender-- a squirrel on the side of the road, for example-- receive the "it" treatment for convenience.

But the usefulness of "it" as a genderless pronoun falls short when the matter of politeness is considered. Pet owners hate having their dogs and cats referred to as "it," and as long as the pet's name and gender is known, they'll be affronted if their beloved Sofia isn't given the dignity of being a "she." Naturally, it would be even ruder to refer to a human being with an androgynous appearance as "it." "It" does not designate a lack of knowledge of gender or even a lack of gender altogether; rather, it has come to differentiate between living and non-living, human and non-human.

While this is not a problem unique to English, many other languages have circumvented it through truly genderless pronouns. Fans of Japanese yaoi and yuri are probably familiar with scenes where the main character is referring to their same-sex partner among friends and can carry off the entire conversation using genderless pronouns to leave everyone thinking the relationship is heterosexual. This always comes off a bit odd in the translated versions. A uke, for example, will be shown complaining about his boyfriend, clearly using phrases like "I don't understand him" or "I wish he wouldn't be so clingy," and the person he is talking to will rejoin with "Your girlfriend sounds really difficult." ("Well, actually he's a guy" will inevitably cross the uke's internal thoughts.)

Sounds convenient? Genderless pronouns are a great tool, and are often used quite cleverly in manga and anime, particularly yaoi and yuri. But when it comes to translation, "it" once again falls short as a replacement. A little vagueness in gender can work here and there in English, but when a human character transcends gender completely, how can the English language compensate for it?

Enter CLAMP, our favorite sadistic lady mangaka and mistresses of gender fluidity. CLAMP has always loved the notion of androgyny, as evidenced by the physical appearances in their collection of bishounens. Subaru Sumeragi of Tokyo Babylon is a dead ringer for his twin sis Hokuto until he grows up a little in X, and X's Kakyou is so feminine that he ends up passed off as a woman in the translated Tokyo Arc of the animated Tsubasa. But while the appearances of these men embrace femininity, their gender itself is not in question. The true puzzles of CLAMP androgyny are the ones whose gender is unresolved: RG Veda's Ashura, Wish's Kohaku and Hisui, X's Nataku, and so on.

Kohaku of Wish

While Nataku's gender is openly discussed in X  due to it being a result  of a project to create an artificial being to replace a man's deceased daughter, characters like Ashura, Kohaku, and Hisui are assigned genders by the translators (TOKYOPOP) without any discrepancies further elaborated on. North American fans know Ashura as "he" and Kohaku and Hisui as "she," and without a little further examination of the Japanese originals, they may be unaware of the circumstances which makes these gender assignments false.

Of course, faulting the translators is hard. Under the constraints of the English language, I can't even manage this blog post without giving these characters gendered pronouns for the sake of convenience, and covering a whole manga would be even more difficult. Del-Ray/Kodansha managed to leave Ashura genderless in the Shara/Shura arc of Tsubasa, but professional translators and fan translators alike have struggled with dealing with the genderless main characters.

Some argue that "he" is somewhat of a universal pronoun, and that terms such as "mankind" or "policemen" are umbrella words that still include women. However, when the eyes see "he," the mind is already filled with connotations of masculinity based on how we've come to associate the word. God, for example, is supposed to transcend gender, but since we use "He" to describe God, we more often than not view him as a masculine being with masculine traits. God is a father to us before he is a mother, and the language we use in regards to Him is in part responsible for that. Even if a reader knows Ashura's background before picking up RG Veda, the presence of the masculine "he" will still change the way he is read as a character.

But why does it matter? The plots of RG Veda and Wish can both be enjoyed without bringing the issue of gender identity into it, and Ashura, Hisui, and Kohaku associate well enough with their assigned genders that a casual reader would hardly be confused by them. Even more importantly, the three characters come along with plenty of roadblocks to make romance a complication, and that alone helps them fit into CLAMP's style of writing about nontraditional relationships. Why is the subtraction of the androgyny factor such an issue when the complex natures of characters like Ashura, Kohaku, and Hisui are revealed in other ways?            

A "he" or a "she"?

RG Veda's Ashura and Yasha

To get a better grasp on the issue, it's important to look at how CLAMP chose to include gender identity issues with these three characters, especially since the translated manga tend to factor these details out. In the case of Ashura, the lack of gender is due to a curse on the Ashura clan. The young Ashura is foretold to be a god who will bring calamity and destruction upon the heavens, and as such,  he is considered a blight to the clan. As due punishment, Ashura is born genderless, assuring that upon the destruction of the Ashura clan, he will remain the last of his line. The character of Ashura is defined by a battle with fate and its supposed inevitability, and the absence of gender as well as his nature as the remains of a destroyed clan keep his role mutable up until the dramatic conclusion. He embodies both feminine and masculine, and has inclinations both war-like and nurturing. The question of which side of himself will manifest in the long term keeps the reader wondering to the very end, and the fact that the conclusion features Ashura as both a merciless war-God (in destroying the heavens) and a loving sacrifice (in protecting Yasha) reveals that the duality of his nature isn't something he is meant to perfectly overcome.

Kohaku and Hisui are themselves intentionally mutable beings as angels, transcending gender and human limitations much like the heavenly beings of the Bible are meant to do. Contrary to human societies which emphasize gender in determining how one ought to behave, angels are collectivized simply by being angels, and any divisiveness is caused by those who reject that nature in favor of the world of humans or demons, much like Kohaku and Hisui do. In any case, the original Japanese version brings this up frequently, especially since Shuichiro's grandfather continually assumes Kohaku is a woman. Kohaku responds in the negative to each of these gender assumptions, but doesn't bother pressing the point seriously.

This naturally leads to a few additional questions. If Kobato was an angel, is she genderless as well despite very obviously associating feminine in Kobato? As a demon, is Kokuyo from Wish also without gender? And what about the ame-warashi and zashiki-warashi inxxxHolic?

In regards to Kobato, she is the product of two lives merging together: that of an angel and that of a human woman. Unlike Kohaku and Hisui, she was from the beginning intended to live her life as a human being in order to complete her mission, and it's only natural that she would be given a gender accordingly. As for characters such as Kokuyo and the spirits of xxxHolic, mutability is less of an issue since they possess gender identity, or a willingness to associate with one gender over another. What sets Ashura, Kohaku, and Hisui apart is a fluidity of identity and a character which resists definition under limiting terms.

  

A different kind of love

As I mentioned earlier, CLAMP is all about questioning a narrow definition of love. Nearly all of their manga feature leading couples who are in some way nontraditional. CLAMP School Detectives and Suki feature age gaps, CLAMP School Defenders introduces a romance between aliens, Chobits tackles humans loving computers, Magic Knight Rayearth culminates in a forbidden romance which nearly destroys the world, and X is absolutely littered with destructive relationships, particularly Subaru and Seishirou's and Kamui's with Kotori and Fuuma. Nearly all of their titles feature implied homosexual relationships; RG Veda, for example has Kendappa and Souma as a lesbian pairing, as well as the elder Ashura and Taishakuten as a male/male romance.

However, it is arguable that gender or lack thereof is a small challenge in the relationships between Ashura and Yasha, Kohaku and Shuichiro, and Kokuyo and Hisui. In the case of Ashura and Yasha, they are challenged by fate: Ashura is the god destined to dismantle the heavens, and Yasha is one who not only stands in the way of its annihilation, but is someone Ashura loves too much to unquestioningly destroy. For Shuichiro and Kohaku, Kohaku's nature as an angel makes loving someone in the human world a challenge, and Shuichiro's closed off emotions due to a one-sided love in the past make him hesitant to give his heart again. Similarly, Kokyo and Hisui are the ultimate impossible pairing: an angel and a devil. Hisui gives up everything to be with him, even if doing so threatens both heaven and hell.

Wish's Hisui and Kokuyo

However, the lack of gender adds a new realm of consideration into the dialogue of what it means to love someone else. CLAMP is an advocate for love between souls as a more essential love than love between bodies. That being the case, it becomes important for characters to come to a fuller understanding of one another before being able to realize their love- in the more serious titles, this means looking beyond who they appear to be on the surface and seeking out their true self. And since CLAMP characters can reincarnate in any circumstances and still have the same true selves irrespective of gender or name, finding that inner person often means looking beyond their gender and instead determining the things which a person holds as most important and valuable.

Having no gender sounds like it would make this process easier, but it doesn't. Along with understanding how you view that person outside of the strict definitions of being a woman or a man, it also becomes necessary to understand how that person views themselves. When Yasha chooses to protect Ashura, for example, he is obligated to every side of Ashura from the bright and curious child, to the abandoned product of a loveless relationship, and at last to the cursed god of destruction lingering within. As Ashura's understanding of himself evolves, so too does Yasha's, and for much of the story both are kept uncertain of what Ashura's full capabilities are, and yet still are able to fall in love with each other as they little by little figure each other out. If we were Ashura and Yasha, would we be able to handle confusion and uncertainty on so many fronts and yet still love each other through it?

     

Family matters

Another subject CLAMP addresses in their relationships is the expectation of having a family. Homosexuality is challenged in Western society by the notion of the "Christian morals" in which it is supposedly in conflict with, but in Eastern societies such as Japan, homosexuality is an issue due to the importance of family lines and carrying on the family unit. Manga which seriously investigates homosexuality inevitably begs the questions "How can you live your life in a way directly contrary to the continuation of the human race?"

As women, this issue is problematic to CLAMP as it not only affects gays and lesbians, but women in general. Is our purpose in life to have children to contribute to the human race? Are we failing if this is something we can't do? Is it an even greater crime if we don't want to?

Shuichiro with Kohaku

CLAMP brought up this point at the conclusion of Chobits through the relationship between Hideki, a human male, and Chii, a female personal computer. Before being able to say he loves her, Chii (operating under the mindset of Freya) demands that Hideki consider the fact that not only will they be unable to have children, but he will be unable to have vaginal sex with her due to the location of her reset switch. This is not a simple request on her part. She wants Hideki to be fully aware from the onset that he is shattering several norms-- the need for a family, the drive for sexual relations, the very societal definition of love itself-- in order to be with her.

This also is a subtle issue for Yasha and Ashura. Ashura is cursed to be the last of his line, so no matter what choices he makes in his life, having children will not be a part of it. Yasha, on the other hand, is not limited in that way. His clan was destroyed for Ashura's sake, but as a remaining scion of the Yasha clan, he has the potential to rebuild it by having a family of his own. In fact, most people in his position would be obligated to. As the one responsible for the demise of the Yasha clan and the last member of it remaining, the legacy and continuation of the clan rests on his shoulders, and to give it up would serve as a second betrayal. All the same, Yasha still chooses Ashura and permits himself to join him in becoming the last of a line. With the heavens torn apart by Ashura, they also become the end of an era- the last of the gods ruling from the heavens.

A younger Ashura

For Shuichiro in Wish, living in the human world once again raises the issue of the "necessity" of having a family. His grandfather is thrilled to see him finally showing signs of settling down with Kohaku (who he assumes in female), but the fact remains that Shuichiro will also be unable to have a family with her. As a loner, this is not as troubling to Shuichiro, but he is also a member of a family, one who also longs for him to live a full life as a husband and a father. If they knew the truth about Kohaku, would her nature become a shortcoming, or would she still be welcome for who she is?

CLAMP's stories are deepened by their ability to find both good and bad and challenges and triumphs in the families they create. Families do not succeed or fail based solely on whether or not they are hetero or homosexual or between a human man and a human woman, but rather on how the individuals approach them. Akira from Man of Many Faces gets by just fine with two mothers, and Sakura Kinomoto from Card Captor Sakura is able to have a happy life with her widowed father even though she deeply misses her mother. Chii and Hideki make it work as a man and computer, but Shimizu-sensei's relationship with her husband is destroyed by the presence of Persocoms. Sakura and Syaoran receive unlikely parental figures in Kuro-daddy and Fai-mommy and form a hodge-podge family in Tsubasa, but the scattered marriages between Shashi and Ashura and Taishakuten end in tragedy through the children they produce, as well as the deadly promise made between the forbidden lovers Ashura and Taishakuten. No set arrangement works in these families- they flourish or fail on an individual level. Ashura, Kohaku, and Hisui cannot have traditional families, but CLAMP does not take that to mean that the lives they build are consequentially societal failures.  

A lover's tough decision

Hisui

Of course, the challenges of these relationships do not fall solely on the genderless characters. These relationships give the chance for romantic interests such as Yasha, Shuichiro, and Kokuyo to prove their mettle. In Chobits, CLAMP emphasized the importance of considering all the things a person can and cannot do before loving them, and this is major part of the roles of these three characters. Each has quite a bit to consider. Ashura is a god of destruction, a cursed child, the last of his line, the reason behind the destruction of the Yasha clan and many other tragic deaths, and contains the possibility of losing himself to the urge to destroy within him. Kohaku is an angel who does not belong in the human world, and cannot stay there without defying the people important to her. Hisui is the least suitable mate for a child of Satan, and is so beloved by heaven that her being tainted by demons is the worst possible sin. That Yasha, Shuichiro, and Kokuyo can accept these relationships for what they are is a beautiful thing, and it becomes even more beautiful when you consider that they made this choice knowing that their lovers are "otherly" and cannot provide them with traditional families and traditional lives.

The fact remains that there is only so much the English language can do with this set up, and there's quite a bit lost in translation when the words and ideas cannot properly carry over. All the same, CLAMP's use of androgyny is important to understand when looking at their overall view of love. Though CLAMP specializes in different kinds of love, the truths apply to all of us. How much are we willing to accept in someone else? How do we define ourselves and others around us? What roles do we fall into because of our gender, and how do we challenge or rise above them? And the fact of the matter is that even if we hide ourselves under a rock and shriek that male is male and female is female and that's the only way it is and will ever be, our world is continuing to question gender identity, and with every question we ask, the more our ideas grow and change.

Sure, there are different kinds of love out there, and CLAMP uses characters in their manga to teach us to afford dignity to these nontraditional lovers. But whether traditional or not, love is love. Let's hope our ability to respond to and react to it isn't something else that gets lost in translation. 

Fun Stuff: DouWata Doujinshi

Hey CLAMP slash fans! After building up a doujinshi collection and no longer being able to tolerate the fact that I couldn't read them, I've been slowly learning how to read and translate written Japanese. So far my scanlations have been too rough to share, especially since I started doing them with the intention of decoding just enough of the text for me to understand what was going, but now that I've gotten better, I'm happy to say that I feel confident in sharing my work with fans of one of my favorite CLAMP pairings: Doumeki x Watanuki. 

Want to check it out? Here are the details:

Name: Tonari no Yamai 
Characters/Pairing: Doumeki x Watanuki
Rating: R18
Translation and Scans: Quickand2thePointless

Plot Summary: After learning that Watanuki is deeply enjoying his time spent with Haruka in dreams, Doumeki's jealousy rears its ugly head. What's going on inside Watanuki's heart?

  Download: Mediafire

Hope you enjoy the story, DouWata/104 fans :) 

We Two Will Protect the Safety of the Earth!

One of the things I love most about CLAMP manga is the multiverse that is formed from their fluid crossovers and sweeping dimensions where the same soul can exist in multiple locations. CLAMP also has fun with this notion through “CLAMP School” and “Horitsuba,” their two massive size fictional schools which incorporate a huge collection of their characters. “CLAMP School,” which is described as having “an enormous campus divided into six class sections: Kindergarten, Elementary, Junior High, High School, University, and Graduate Divisions...[and is] its own insular, functioning society featuring living quarters, labs, movie theaters, hospitals, banks, and various facilities,” includes the CLAMP School Detectives, CLAMP School Defenders, and CLAMP Paranormal Investigators. The CLAMP School also plays a role in X and is also apparently the school of the unlucky Miyuki-chan from Miyuki-chan in Wonderland. “Horitsuba” mainly focuses on the characters of xxxHolic and Tsubasa, but the chapters also include hints of most of CLAMP's character catalog, branching off into Cardcaptor Sakura, X, and Chobits.

As a CLAMP fan, I essentially read all of CLAMP's manga before picking up a work by another mangaka (Fruits Basket being the exception), but CLAMP School Defenders actually took me quite some time to come across. CLAMP manga tend to be strewn with Japanese pop culture references, so I wanted to read an official translation first for added clarity, and as one of CLAMP's early manga, it wasn't incredibly easy to come by. However, thanks to the blessed existence of used book stores, I finally got my hands on it a few years ago and got my next dose of the CLAMP school universe.

The Defenders of CLAMP, suited up in their super sentai gear!

Like the aforementioned Miyuki-chan in Wonderland, CLAMP School Defenders is a gag series. Not only does it poke fun at the “Sentai” genre (which is essentially the Japanese version of shows such as Power Rangers which Western audiences should be more familiar with), but it also playfully jabs at “CLAMPness,” the persona CLAMP had established up until that point. And that persona is what still makes me love/hate them to this day, since they are and always have been Sadistic Lady Mangaka who delight in dangling the carrot in front of their readers and rarely letting them bite.

The CLAMP School Defenders are two young gentlemen, Takeshi and Kentaro, who are tasked with the duty of protecting the sprawling campus from any inside or outside harm. Hand selected by the mysterious General (who is quite obviously Nokoru, the leader of the CLAMP School Detectives), the Defenders are expected to rush out of class the moment their song-signal sounds, disrobe and make their way into their super snazzy Defenders gear, and knock some healthy sense into the offending bad guy(s).

However, no one is supposed to know their identities, which is made pretty difficult by the fact that Kentaro loves dramatically announcing “We're Duklyon, the CLAMP School Defenders,” at the slightest provocation. Luckily, no one ever seems to notice that the two boys rush out whenever the tell tale music plays, providing feeble excuses such as being sick or having a sick relative in order to leave class without trouble. This is a gag series, after all, so everyone remains contentedly oblivious.

Kentaro and Takeshi, Protecting the Safety of the Earth!

Our story begins with Takeshi and Kentaro getting along in the way only CLAMP men can. Takeshi is a determined academic who wants nothing more than to live a normal life, but naturally fails. Kentaro is a boisterous, domestic boy who wants nothing more than to be the perfect bride... to Takeshi. That's CLAMP for you! Anyhow, Takeshi's desire to be normal means that he has to constantly refute Kentaro's way of being, but Kentaro is so persistent and optimistic that he clearly has the leg up in their partnership.

Kotobuki, their otaku-looking classmate, enjoys watching them interact, but seems to have a secret of his own. Two minutes before every occasion the CLAMP Defenders are called into action, Kotobuki also skips class due to “sickness.” He also looks suspiciously like the leader of the Imonoyama Shopping District Association, the bad guys who have a fixation with “taking over” parts of the CLAMP campus in a bid to take over the world!

Kotobuki and Eri as normal students

Naturally, the heroes and villains in this story lurk behind paper thin disguises. No one other then the Defenders themselves, their manager Eri, the General, and the bakery lady who works at Duklyon, the access point to their base, realize who they are. Things get even more hilarious when Kotobuki falls in love with Eri, failing to recognize that she is the EXACT SAME GIRL AS THE ONE LEADING THE CLAMP SCHOOL DEFENDERS EVEN THOUGH SHE BARELY CHANGES HER APPEARANCE WHEN SHE DOES SO. Love is blind, huh? It should also be noted that the fiery and in-charge Eri who is on top of everything and then some can't recognize that Kotobuki is the Imonoyama leader, despite only putting on fabulous make up and a weird costume before holding up the school's cafeteria.

Eri and Kotobuki in disguise. WHO THE HECK ARE THEY!?!!?

The first half mainly focuses on the vitriolic relationship between Takeshi, Kentaro, and Eri, as well as the hammy action sequences where they take down Kotobuki. One of my favorite moments was the chapter where School Detective Akira's alter ago 20 Masks played into the storyline, facing off against the School Defenders for the school play and then kidnapping them on behalf of his two mommies. CLAMP in-references are what fans live for, after all!

The Defenders with 20 Masks (Akira). Hooray for CLAMP cross overs!

The second half shifts the focus away from Takeshi and Kentaro, much to their annoyance, and emphasizes the budding romance between Eri and Kotobuki. Though neither has clued into the fact they're fighting on opposing sides, the connection becomes more evident when Kotobuki, head over heels in love, starts slacking off on his Imonoyama duties. Picking up where he left off, a racy new villain heads the group, pulling off even more dramatic crimes without Kotobuki's knowledge. Who is this villainess?

Turns out... she's Kotobuki's fiancee, newly arrived from another planet to figure out what her betrothed has been up to! Apparently, conquering a lesser planet was supposing to seal their engagement and give them the go ahead to get hitched. Yup- Kotobuki and fiancee are bona fide aliens! It also explains why Kotobuki's evil deeds have only amounted to holding up the cafeteria. He clearly doesn't want to get married to his fiancee, especially not after meeting the spunky Eri!

His fiancee is less than thrilled about by his new-found attachment to Eri, of course, and begins deliberately targeting her in her attacks. Eventually she even drops the bomb that Kotobuki is not only an alien, but heads the Imonoyama Association right to Eri's face. Eri is surprised (as she should be for not being able to figure it out on her own), but has a bomb of her own to drop: she's an alien, too, looking out for the inferior planet Earth!

Eri's big reveal opens the way for her to team up not only with her two Defenders but with Kotobuki himself, who realizes that it's time to fight for love instead of keeping up the appearances of his engagement. And will true love and justice prevail here? This isn't X, so naturally, it does! Kotobuki and Eri win the day and head back to space to get married themselves.

Kentaro and Takeshi totally ship them, after they get over their initial disbelief

And since CLAMP is gentler and kinder in this series, they even let their fans take a bite of the carrot with the epilogue. We see Takeshi graduated and working as a businessman, finally living the normal life he always wanted. But suddenly a familiar song plays in the distance and Kentaro is back on the scene! Turns out Takeshi is working for Kentaro's family's company, and Kentaro still wants to carry on the School Defender tradition! Takeshi is of course violently opposed, but Kentaro pretty much assures him that he CAN NEVER ESCAPE so too bad! Can't run away from CLAMP fate, no matter how much you try! We also learn something that should make all readers smile: Kotobuki and Eri are back on Earth, ready to give the Defenders a helping hand!

CLAMP School Defenders is an excellent gag title, packed with laughs on every page. It brilliantly plays off of the hammy nature of the Sentai genre including the costume changes (Kentaro and Takeshi can change within seconds, always neatly fold their school clothes and hide them, often losing them later), secret bases (slide down the oven of Duklyon bakery and hope no one leaves it on or packed with cookies), and the obliviousness of absolutely EVERYONE (how can no one guess Eri's identity in the Defenders? HOW?). I was laughing throughout the whole thing, remembering all of these tropes from watching Power Rangers as a child.

HEY THERE, SWEET CHEEKS! Every time I get ignored, I'm doing this, too!

If you're looking for seriousness, however, look elsewhere. This is all comedy, all the time. It also helps to be a bit familiar with the CLAMP School Detectives and The Man With 20 Faces, as the in-universe references abound. The series is short, spanning only two volumes, so it also makes for a quick and enjoyable read.

Also, if you want to see these heroes animated, check out the CLAMP School Detectives anime, which features the Defenders, 20 Masks, and Mizuki-chan along with the Detectives. Kentaro, Takeshi, and Eri also pop up in Tsubasa, where they serve as informants to Kurogane and Syaoran in Outo.

Fun Stuff: 100th Post Extravaganza

Soooo, it's my 100th post on this blog of mine, and I wanted to celebrate in a very special way! Since 100 is the magic number, I've compiled 10 top ten lists of Asian pop culture things I love- anime, manga, music, bishounens, etc- as a way to sum up all the things I've been talking about on my blog. So, without further ado, here's your chance to learn a little about the world of Quickand2thePointless!

xxxHolic, Natsume Yuujinchou, FMA: Brotherhood, Code Geass, Hetalia, X, Tiger & Bunny, Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, Durarara!, and Nodame Cantabile.

When it comes to anime, I love supernatural/fantasy elements, male leads (not that I don't love the ladies, but Japan is a bit heavy on the fan-service, dependent types, and I like a gal who can define herself- like xxxHolic's Yuuko), and plots that lead to unique perspectives on human emotions and behavior.

Fai (Tsubasa), Yuuko (xxxHolic/Tsubasa), Subaru (Tokyo Babylon/X), Natsume (Natsume Yuujinchou), Kotetsu (Tiger & Bunny), Scar (FMA: Brotherhood), Lelouch (Code Geass), Holo (Spice & Wolf), Hakkai (Saiyuki), America (Hetalia)

The characters I love the most are strong-willed, independent, and though they are burdened by their pasts and regrets, they actively seek paths of redemption or develop to the point where they can come to terms with who they are and the world they live in.

Just a sample of what's been on my playlist lately!

With music, I tend to gravitate towards two sounds-- either the type of pop music that reminds me of my boy band obsessed childhood during the days of NSYNC and Backstreet Boys, or inspired singer-songwriter type tracks which break through the language barrier and still manage to tell a beautiful story.

Tales of Symphonia, Golden Sun, Fire Emblem, Sakura Wars, Arc Rise Fantasia, Pokemon, Dragon Age, Monkey Island, Soul Calibur, and Street Fighter

I'm a bit limited when it comes to games, since the only consoles I have access to are the Gameboy Advance, Wii (and thus GameCube), and my trusty PC. Nonetheless, I'm a huge fan of JRPGs, strategy/tactics based adventures, and anything with fantasy elements and beautiful artwork. 

Fantasy, Supernatural, Bishounen, Comedy, Shounen-ai, Shoujo-ai, Historical, Action, Music, and Samurai

Besides my obvious love for beautiful men, I also enjoy plotlines that teach me about Japanese history and folklore, as well as stories that make me laugh or tug at my heartstrings. Romances are always appreciated (hence the shounen and shoujo-ai), but shoujo didn't make the list this time since, as stated earlier, I'm not a huge fan on Japanese leading ladies (exceptions do exist, such as Toradora and Ouran High School Host Club). As a huge fan of Asian music, music themed shows are always, always on my list!

Tsubasa, Fruits Basket, Fullmetal Alchemist, xxxHolic, Rurouni Kenshin, Chobits, FAKE, Saiyuki, Tokyo Babylon, Cardcaptor Sakura

If we're being completely honest... I love CLAMP. Fruits Basket is also the first manga series I ever completed, and it immediately hooked me by pairing shoujo with the supernatural elements I love so much in the other series I read. 

Sebastian (Black Butler), Doumeki (xxxHolic), Keith (Tiger & Bunny), Greece (Hetalia), Sanzo (Saiyuki), Kyoya (Ouran High School Host Club), Kaname (Vampire Knight), Kratos (Tales of Symphonia), Lantis (Magic Knight Rayearth), Haruka (Tactics)

Looks like I'm shallow! But when it comes to personality, I like a little bit of stoicism that hides a truly sweet personality, a little bit of gruffness,  but someone who turns out being a little bit of a doof when you get to know them better.

Nico Touches the Walls, Shikao Suga, SHINee, YUI, Big Bang, Asian Kung-Fu Generation, Yuya Matsushita, Epik High, Maaya Sakamoto, Miss A.

I love all kinds of music, and these artists span all my favorite genres: alternative rock, dance pop, singer-songwriter, hip pop, throwback rap, and straight up vocal talent.

All of these have been featured as a Theme Spotlight for a reason: I love them each!

Anime themes really need to suit the atmosphere of the show, and quite a few of these were picked because of how well they achieved that purpose- I especially get into the theme if it is paired with a brilliant opening/closing video, or if the lyrics meaningfully tie back into the message of the show. I also like a bit of fun in my music, which is probably why "Kimi ni Mune Kyun" continues to be one of my favorites.

Kurogane/Fai (Tsubasa), Winry/Ed (FMA), Doumeki/Watanuki (xxxHolic), Chiaki/Nodame (Nodame Cantabile), Seishirou/Subaru (Tokyo Babylon/X), Chi/Hideki (Chobits), Kamui/Fuuma (X), Ryuuji/Taiga (Toradora), Kendappa/ Souma (RG Veda), Okabe/Kurisu (Steins;gate)

Clearly, I love how CLAMP does their slash pairings, but when it comes to het, I LOVE vitriolic couples that leave you wondering whether they'll get together in the end (although I suppose Chi and Hideki don't exactly fall into this). I love it when both the male and female characters have difficult personalities, but still find a way to make it work. As for my CLAMP... I love it when couples suffer and sacrifice for each other, always fighting for the futures that make them happy, even when it doesn't turn out the way they want it to.

Masculine Bodily Harm in CLAMP Part Two

(The following post contains major spoilers for CLAMP works including xxxHolic, and Tsubasa. Proceed with caution!)

(Link back to Part One)

xxxHolic

Doumeki and Watanuki:

 Though the scenes of bodily harm mentioned in Part One entered into disturbing and graphic territory at points, the exchanges in xxxHolic take place on a tamer, though equally consequential scale. Doumeki initially loses the use of his eye in a commonplace incident when he destroys a spider's web Watanuki is tangled in and earns the spider's grudge in the form of his eye being sealed with a web. Yuuko explains that the destruction of a spider's home is traumatic to it, and that to compensate for its pain, it deals “proportionate” retribution upon the offending party. Doumeki's condition is not permanent, but Yuuko is vague on the matter of how long it will take, and since spirits' lifespans are much longer than humans', there is the possibility that Doumeki will have to put up with the curse his entire life.

However, Doumeki is pragmatic when it comes to these matters. He destroyed the web, and thus is the deserved target of the curse. Since the world operates on balanced exchange, it is his obligation to suffer the consequences of his actions, no matter how innocently meant they were. He is also more cautious in how he sacrifices himself as opposed to Watanuki, who is more than willing to upset balanced exchange by sacrificing himself with little provocation. Based on Doumeki's attitude towards Watanuki, it is probably safe to assume he is satisfied that he was the target of the curse rather than Watanuki, who has sacrificed quite a bit at this point with needing to add yet another spiritual problem to his list.

Watanuki has a markedly different attitude towards Doumeki, treating him as an unwelcome intrusion and rival, but nonetheless cannot stand the sight of anyone suffering on his behalf, particularly when he is indirectly responsible (i.e. getting tangled in the spider web). With this in mind, he asks Yuuko how to transfer the spider's grudge to him, and gives Doumeki back his sight at the cost of the potentially permanent loss of his own eye.

Doumeki's expressions following Watanuki's reversal of the curse show just how shocked and hurt he is

The interesting trait to the interactions between Doumeki and Watanuki is that, unlike most CLAMP characters with such persistent homoerotic subtext, they never have a culminating moment which implies they have become a couple or even mutual lovers in the traditional sense. While the latter half of the manga shows them in a verging on married couple type role, both Watanuki's obligation to freeze his lifespan to remain in the shop and his desire to see Yuuko once again put limiters on whatever conflicting feelings he has towards Doumeki. In the case of Doumeki, most of the sexually-laden subtext remains on his side, with the text giving evidence to indicate that though he eventually goes on to marry Kohane, both of them are still deeply in love with Watanuki and want to fulfill their desire of keeping him from dying alone.

However, the primary eye exchange between Doumeki and Watanuki is devoid of the turbulent emotions which marked Subaru and Seishirou's. The loss for Doumeki resulted due to an instinctive action, and Watanuki's own reaction can also be viewed as instinctive and very much in line with his inherent, self-erasing nature.

It is when Doumeki learns of Watanuki's sacrifice that things at last become heated, and the exchange increases in significance. Doumeki places great importance in choosing for oneself and satisfying personal desires without the help of supernatural specialists such as Yuuko, so for Watanuki to reverse an action Doumeki himself chose to do is deeply insulting to him. The loss of Watanuki's eye is so upsetting, in fact, that he abruptly breaks his deliberate avoidance of asking Yuuko for favors, and demands for her to tell him a way to return the curse to its natural state. But since Doumeki and Watanuki's wishes are equal and opposite, she only agrees to accept the first wish brought to her to avoid endless back and forth between them.

It becomes increasingly clear that Doumeki's fixation on canceling out Watanuki's actions is much more emotionally rooted than Watanuki's initial reversal. He throws himself into investigating possible cures in his grandfather's extensive library, and experiences a moment evocative of his first meeting with Watanuki when he see him examining his missing eye in a mirror saying, “It's not coming back, is it?” These actions are motivated by his desire to keep Watanuki from needlessly sacrificing himself, and follow Yuuko's advice to him following the loss of Watanuki's eye: “It's okay to be angry with him. If a person sacrifices himself to save another, that person should know just what kind of scars that action leaves on the rescued person. If Watanuki has any importance to you at all, he should learn that! Get angry and teach him! That way, little by little, he'll change.”

Sadly, Watanuki is unable to immediately change his ways, and when a spirit with romantic feelings for him, the vestal Zashiki-Warashi, confronts the spider demon who possesses Watanuki's eye and is captured as a consequence, Watanuki expresses a willingness to hand over his other eye and any other part of him necessary to appease the demon threatening her. It's not until the spider demon chides him by saying, “You're throwing away your well being just like that? Do you think that something you can throw out easily can be exchanged for something important?” that Watanuki at last begins to consider the consequences of his constant self-erasing on his companions. When Doumeki requests to give part of the sight in his eye to fill the absence in Watanuki's, Watanuki has the dignity to for the first time quietly accept someone taking sacrificial actions on his behalf.

Through the rest of the series, Watanuki has dual colored eyes: the golden one is from Doumeki, the blue is his own.

The presence of Doumkei's sight within Watanuki is symbolic in the same way the shared eye of Seishirou and Subaru is. On several occasions, both characters are able to share a mutual vision through Watanuki's eyes, which generally occurs when spirits are nearby or Watanuki's emotions are excited. The flashes Doumeki receives from Watanuki allow him to witness the presence of spirits, which he had previously been unable to do, though he does possess powers of exorcism. Watanuki's personality also seems to undergo a subtle shift following his symbolic joining with Doumeki, and he eventually comes to the conclusion that he shouldn't erase himself from the world at the cost of hurting his friends. He even becomes much more willing to acknowledge the occasions when Doumeki extends himself on his behalf, particularly after the incident when Watanuki steps in between Kohane and her mother during a violent conflict.

The unfulfilled nature of Doumeki and Watanuki's relationship may have something to do with CLAMP's somewhat abrupt conclusion to the series which renders the egg Yuuko imparted to Doumeki before her death meaningless considering the sacrifice Sakura went through to retrieve it, and also leaves Watanuki oddly in the position of waiting for Yuuko, though deaths are irreversible in the CLAMP-verse, and even should she reincarnate, it is doubtful Yuuko would be pleased that Watanuki was never fully able to move forward independently in the way she wished him to. However, the physical exchange between Doumeki and Watanuki is still poignant in the sense that it influences the shift in Watanuki's perception and willingness to engage in self-erasure, and confirms Doumeki's central motivation in assuring Watanuki is happy and healthy in both heart and body. Though the two characters are left without an established emotional union, the back-and-forth they endure together with their eyes does its part to establish a bond that even Watanuki cannot satisfactorily deflect.

Tsubasa

Syaoran and Tsubasa Syaoran:

(For the sake of clarity, I will be referring to the Syaoran from the first half of the manga as 'Syaoran,' and the one who is with group following the events of Acid Tokyo as 'Tsubasa,' his true name)

Though bodily harm to the eye has thus far been used as a homoerotic exchange in previous CLAMP manga, Tsubasa presented a unique example with the exchange between Syaoran and Tsubasa, a boy who is both his son and the human being he was cloned from. In the past, Tsubasa gouged out his eye before submitting to his price of losing time in order to pay for his wish to rewind time and save 'his' Princess Sakura. Tsubasa takes the eye, which contains his “heart,” and implants it into Syaoran, hoping that possessing a heart will gave him access to enough emotions and memories to make him able to give birth to his own heart when Tsubasa takes his back. However, when the seal breaks on the implanted heart, Syaoran loses control of his memories and soul, and in essence transforms into a thoughtless, single-mindedly brutal puppet of Fei Wang Reed, possessing little understanding of who Tsubasa is other than the fact that he poses a threat.

For Syaoran, his blind eye is the first link he has to the soul and pure intentions of his original copy

Though Tsubasa is aware when he initially sacrifices his eye that Syaoran may still very well succumb to Fei Wang's influence, his actions show a willingness to validate Syaoran's existence in the universe, in a similar way to how he constantly tells Watanuki not to vanish simply because he's the copy of an original human life. By sharing his heart in the form of his eye, Tsubasa not only has a way to glimpse upon the actions of his clone and the traveling party, but also a method of preventing Syaoran from spending his life as a tool of manipulation when he is just as worthy of happiness, despite being a clone.

This action on Tsubasa's part has a major impact on the final chapters, when Syaoran is able to escape from Fei Wang Reed's control, build a life with 'his' Sakura, and eventually give life to Tsubasa, setting up the eventually destroyed time loop of Tsubasa in motion. But more importantly, this physical exchange represents Tsubasa's faith, not only in the potential for life formed by unnatural means to find individual happiness, but also in the very concept of the soul itself. The “heart,” he gives is not the blood pumping organ we are familiar with, after all, but rather the essence of Tsubasa. The soul is not the mirror reflection of his personality and life experiences, but rather the foundation he built upon to become who he is, which is inclined and disinclined to certain things, but still able to be influenced by outside factors.

The soul plays a large role in CLAMP manga, particularly in their sweeping multi-verse where the same soul exists in several locations. For example, we see the couple “Arashi” and “Sorata” in several different dimensions, and while they were raised in different conditions and have different life stories, each appearance of their souls has them falling in love and desiring to be together. Since Syaoran is filled with Tsubasa's soul, it's only natural that he would be drawn to Sakura, and display some of the traits inherent to Tsubasa as well as the Syaoran we met in Cardcaptor Sakura.

There are, however, marked differences between them, or else it would be odd for them to have a father-and-son relationship. As Tsubasa says to the Fei Wang Reed controlled Syaoran, “I've been watching all this time through your right eye. The things you've seen, the people you've met. The one for whom 'that' Sakura was most precious wasn't my soul! It was you, wasn't it?” Knowing what he knows about the nature of clones, Tsubasa is aware that the young girl he fell in love with is different from the Sakura whom Syaoran harbored feelings for. His exchange was not meant to give Syaoran the very same feeling and personality that he himself possesses, but for him to build individual relationships with Sakura, Fai, and Kurogane that belong solely to him, and would thus convince him to create a heart of his own with which to treasure these interactions.

Though Syaoran and Tsubasa come from the same being, they are formed by two different bodies of experience.

Though the subtext evoked by this trade-off is different from previously mentioned exchanges, it is still an incredibly loving gesture on Tsubasa's part, born not of his desire to protect himself from Syaoran when the seal on his heart broke, but to give Syaoran a happy future and unique life of his own.

Syaoran and Fai (and Kurogane):

Though the case of the eye Fai sacrifices for Syaoran is not homoerotic (but rather quite motherly), the influence it has over Kurogane is so laden with passionate emotion that this example still follows the trend set by the example of Seishirou and Subaru. In the horrifying moment when the seal on Syaoran's eye and “heart” collapses and he begins to awake as the puppet of Fei Wang Reed, Fai chooses to help him keep the heart belonging to Tsubasa since it is engraved with precious memories he sees as belonging to Syaoran. As a mage, Fai is probably well aware that this effort is futile, but chooses to make the attempt out of an almost parental love for Syaoran, as well as a persisting indifference to his own survival.

In a scene hidden from the eyes of the reader, the newly awakened Syaoran gouges out Fai's eye to steal the magical power encased within it, power he will need to collect Sakura's memory feathers for Fei Wang Reed. We do not see the two again until Kurogane arrives on the scene, and Syaoran drags out Fai's bleeding body for him to witness.

Though Fai sacrificed his eye in an attempt to save Syaoran, Kurogane, as mentioned earlier, is the one who has the strongest reaction to its loss. Of course, Syaoran is transformed into an emotionless tool at this point, but Kurogane is not sympathetic to this as an excuse for Syaoran's physical cruelty to someone who loved him in spite of his own internal pain. “This guy,” he yells in a rare moment of willingness to defend Fai's self-destructive actions, “changed who he was because of the princess and because of you. You even managed to make him smile for real a little! Don't you hear me, kid?!”

Although Syaoran does not hear in the way Kurogane means him to, the realization summed up in these lines are almost more important for Kurogane himself to understand than Syaoran. By understanding and to a degree respecting what Fai tried to do for Syaoran, Kurogane proves just how close of an eye he's been keeping on Fai through the mage's many veils and behavioral disguises. In comparison to Syaoran and Sakura, he is more aware of the “true” Fai, and how important it is that Fai would let down his iron defenses for the sake of the two he looks upon tenderly. He understands the value of Fai's sacrifice and is infuriated that Syaoran is so far gone that he cannot understand the magnitude of the loss Fai suffered for him.

Naturally, Kurogane's understanding only extends to the unconscious and vulnerable body of Fai. As soon as Fai awakes and insists he should be allowed to die from the shock of his wounds so that his magical power will also die within Syaoran, Kurogane puts a halt to any further physical exchanges from the suicidal Fai. Like with Watanuki, Fai's indifference to physical loss and bodily harm is evident of his desire to erase himself due to his guilt over the death of his brother. Though Kurogane is yet unaware of these motivations, he recognizes that, if given the chance, Fai would willingly gamble away his life for the sake of someone or something else. And just as Doumeki did with Watanuki, he decides to enter into his own physical exchange to keep Fai from taking it entirely upon himself.

Kurogane reacts violently to Fai's self-erasure and fights to keep him alive.

Kurogane's exchange of blood in order to transform Fai into a vampire dependent on him for sustenance is equally of note, since he enters into it with the knowledge that Fai does not consent to his decision and will most likely resent him for it as long as he assigns little value to his life. However, Fai's life holds enough value to him to make the sacrifice worthwhile, though he does spend his time in Infinity engaged in intense psychological warfare with Fai in regards to the latter's tendency to wallow in his misery without ever explaining it to the people who would try to understand him. While CLAMP utilizes exchange of sight and increased vulnerability through the loss of an eye, Kurogane's bodily sacrifices of blood and eventually his arm demonstrate a purging of that which he perceives makes him strong for the sake of “true strength,” or the knowledge that the are things physical strength alone cannot protect, such as Fai's collapsing mental state and the complex natures of Syaoran, Sakura, and Tsubasa.

Fai and Kurogane:

Even with one eye torn from him in a highly violent fashion, Fai is still willing to enter into physical sacrifice at any occasion when the opportunity arises. After his first curse activates and he attacks Princess Sakura, severing her soul and her body, Fai's suicidal desires reach a new high. Though he still claims that he “can't die yet,” since he has vowed to live long enough to resurrect his deceased brother, in order to retrieve Sakura's body he attempts to give his remaining eye, or at least everything it sees, as the price to return to his home world. Though this will not kill him, he will go blind, rendering him useless as a fighter and member of their traveling company, which makes it clear that he doesn't intend to survive with them much longer.

Kurogane, as astute as he is, picks up on this immediately, and after several cold-eyed glares, eventually smacks Fai in the head and tells him, “Up to now, I've pretty much let you and the Princess do as you've liked. So now I'm going to do as I like.” Later, when Fai once again tries to sacrifice himself in Celes, Kurogane is also the one to point out the discrepancies in Ashura's story and to drive Fai once again to fight for the survival of those he cares about, even if he is not ready to fully fight in his own defense.

Fai's attempted uses of physical exchange are shown as grossly disproportionate and offensive to balanced exchange. To rescue Sakura, he alone tries to pay the price through harming his body and devaluing it, even though Tsubasa, Kurogane, and Mokona equally desire to assure Sakura's safety. In Celes, his attempted sacrifice provides him a half-hearted method of trying to kill himself and Ashura at the same time, making it so he will escape the aftermath and consequences of having his history exposed to Tsubasa and Kurogane, as well as avoiding his awareness of the futility of returning life to a dead body. The other members of the party would gladly assist him with his burdens, but Fai tries to take the 'easy' way where only he suffers and risks himself at the price of using everyone's ignorance of his situation to keep himself distant from them.

When Kurogane kills Ashura and cuts off his arm so Fai can make it safely out of Celes, Fai at last realizes the pain he caused Kurogane and the others for playing so lightly with his life. The tears he sheds while watching over Kurogane's bleeding body in Nihon show a true understanding of despair at what the loss of life does to the heart of a loved one. With this epiphany, he is able to forgive Kurogane when he awakens again and interact with him using a more friendly and genuine attitude.

And when the chance for yet another physical exchange arises, Fai for the first time takes a self-preserving stance. To pay for Kurogane's prosthetic arm, he once again offers his eye, but not the entire organ or its sight. Rather, he simply gives the scant remains of the magic contained within, since he no longer needs it survive since he can feed upon Kurogane's blood as a vampire. As he proudly tells Kurogane, “I won't give anything that amounts to giving my life away. Not anymore.”

Considering Fai's earlier offer to lose his sight, the color of his eye is a much smaller price to pay

In a sense, the evolution of Fai and Kurogane's relationship from “measuring and delimiting one another” to a fully realized partnership is told within their physical exchanges. Fai's lost sight and damaged, vulnerable body motivates him to place barriers between himself and Kurogane, but Kurogane's more acceptable sacrifices of his physical strength and reforming his old wish with a new one to keep Fai safe work to provide Fai the realization that the pain he feels in injuring and losing Kurogane is the very pain Kurogane feels in seeing him lost and injured. Through their physical dialogue with one another, they are able to communicate their separate desires and reach a conclusion that luckily leads to happiness for them both.

To make a long story short...

Overall, CLAMP has a fascinating take on how bodily harm, physical exchange, and loss functions in homoerotic relationships as a stand-in for direct emotional communication. The “hardness” of masculine bodies, particularly those of Seishirou, Doumeki, and Kurogane, do not hold room for as many vulnerabilities as the soft feminine body, so it is through what they do and do not sacrifice and where they choose to be vulnerable that their feelings are shown in subtext without making the heartfelt confessions and sensitive interactions of shounen-ai and yaoi necessary. As for Subaru, Watanuki, and Fai, their predisposition to loss and self-erasing shows an unfortunate devaluing of their physical bodies, and it is only through a strengthening physical exchange from their lovers that they are able to appreciate their own continued existence.

And why the eye? Beside being a vulnerable point on the male body, it is an organ associated with seeing, perceiving, interpreting, and understanding. It is the gateway through which the world is witnessed, visual memories are formed, and input is sent into to the body to be considered. The eyes are also the means with which humans are able to view each other and begin to make judgments on who a person is, first on the surface, and then within their soul. When harm comes to the eye, each of these things can become damaged, but they can also undergo a transformation and lead to a new perception or worldview. It is only through their eyes being lost, injured, or exchanged that Seishirou, Subaru, Watanuki, Doumeki, and Fai are able to go through internal transformations in perception, and consequently better appreciate and confront the feelings they hold for their partners.