This time around I will be discussing
CLANNAD season one and After
Story, and I feel like I should give those who have never seen
it before a fair warning. CLANNAD is, on the surface, a very
sweet and tender-hearted school life/romance series which
documents rough-around-the-edges but extremely sweet Tomoya Okazaki
and sickly nice girl Nagisa Furukawa as they try to make Nagisa's
dream of reinstating their high school's drama club come true. However, CLANNAD is
not all fun and games and tender, fuzzy moments. This series,
especially once it reaches the After Story, is heartbreaking.
If you have a soul and emotions, you will probably cry. The
later episodes twist your heart and won't let go, giving you one
relentlessly aching scenario after another. But don't let this scare
you off. The way the show breaks your heart is so beautiful and
poignant that the tears are worth it. The characters are dynamic and
lovable, and it won't take you long before you become emotionally
invested in them, especially when the central plotline of the two
main characters begins to develop. Their pain becomes your pain, and
that's why the tears they cause are fitting rather than annoying.
Our main characters: Tomoya and Nagisa |
CLANNAD's female cast, whose lives change thanks to Tomoya's compassionate heart |
CLANNAD
the animation is based off a visual novel where the reader can
interact and have a degree of control over who Tomoya gives his heart
to. However, there is one female standing head and shoulders above
all the others when it comes to the canon choice, and that is
Nagisa, whose plot develops along with Tomoya's into the After Story,
where she becomes the center of his world in more than one sense. In
the anime, the other girls cherish a flame for Tomoya, but end up
with their hopes crushed in one fell swoop when they witness the
usually laid back Tomoya almost attack someone who accidentally hurts
Nagisa during a sporting event. By the final episode of season one,
Tomoya makes his feelings for Nagisa official and asks her to be his
girlfriend. From this point onward they become inseparable, though
neither one of them is very good at physically manifesting their
affection. In other words, there are very few kisses in this show.
Sorry!
Season one mostly covers Tomoya's
relationships with his classmates and Nagisa, and one of the longest
and cutest arcs features the enigmatic Fuko, a little firecracker of
girl with an obsession for starfish. As it turns out (spoiler), she
is actually the comatose sister of a former teacher at the high
school, whose spirit has decided to go on an out-of-body adventure to
make sure her sister finds happiness and doesn't waste her life
worrying over her unresponsive body in the hospital. After they help
her achieve her goal, neither Tomoya nor Nagisa are able to remember
her due to the fact that spirits aren't supposed to be lurking around
the physical world, but Fuko still pops up from time to time whenever
she decides the protagonists can use a hand (usually with humorous
results). Spoiler end!
Fuko's arc is by far among the cutest and most touching of the series |
At this point, CLANNAD
is still straight forward and
light-hearted, even though some of the backstory material
(particularly Kotomi's) gets pretty heavy. At the same time, the
viewer cannot help but be aware that there is another level to this
story that has yet to manifest itself. Many of the episodes start off
with a young girl and a sentient robot made of scrap living alone in
a world of illusions, but this haunting image at first does not seem
to relate back to the main story. It isn't until the later episodes
of season one that it is revealed that Nagisa has a deep connection
to this vision, although she does not know where it came from or what
exactly it means.
What these images signify is the biggest mystery viewers are left with in Season 1 |
MAJOR
SPOILER START
From
here, we move into After Story territory. I would advise anyone who
hasn't watched the show but wants to one day to stop reading now.
These aren't just spoilers. They are SPOILERS of the massive variety.
If you first learn what happens only through my simple summary
language, it ruins the beauty and emotional impact of seeing it first
hand. So don't say I didn't warn you.
After
Story starts off with two more arcs to give Tomoya the chance to
build up more positive emotions for what's to come. The first
features repairing the brother-sister relationship between Sunohara
and Mei, and the second involves classmate Yukine and her involvement
with two rival gangs. These are both good storylines, but the real
meat of After Story begins when Nagisa's illness returns, and she is
forced to temporarily drop out of school while Tomoya graduates and
starts life in the real world, including getting his own apartment.
In
these episodes, Tomoya displays wisdom and maturity that proves he
has grown from the apathetic student he was in the first season. When
he starts his job as an electrician, he finds it more and more
difficult to spare Nagisa as much time as he used to, but at the same
time he realizes he can't approach his job or his
relationship half-heartedly. He puts his all into his work, and when
his duties start pushing Nagisa to the side, he remembers that his
job is partially to provide a future for her, a gesture which becomes
meaningless if he fails to make her a priority.
As Tomoya enters the adult world, After Story begins to tackle more mature themes |
Then,
things come to a head when Tomoya's dead beat dad gets arrested,
which causes him to lose face in front of his co-workers and
neighbors and destroys his opportunity for promotion. Insulted and
humiliated, Tomoya heads to the holding facility to confront his
father about how he's ruined the family name and selfishly interfered
in Tomoya's life, and as his emotions bottle up an explode, Nagisa
stays faithfully by his side, providing the comfort and tenderness he
needs to stay sane. When Nagisa holds onto him after he snaps and
bloodies his fist by punching a wall, Tomoya realizes he cannot
remain whole without Nagisa in his life. He proposes, and she says
yes in one of the most heartwarming scenes I have ever witnessed.
Tomoya is bruised and exhausted, and Nagisa is afraid for his sake,
but the love they share is the one thing strong enough to keep them
steady even in the midst of a bleak, unhappy situation. The proposal
could not have been timed or portrayed better... in fact, I'm tearing
up just thinking about it. This show knows how to tug on my
heartstrings like no other.
So
Tomoya and Nagisa get hitched, and live contentedly together as a
couple. Then Nagisa makes the decision that life would be even more
perfect with a baby in tow. As a woman, I can't really blame her, but
it's of course generally not a very good idea for an ill and
physically weak young woman to pop out babies without at least
consulting a doctor first. Tomoya and Nagisa learn this the hard way.
Nagisa gets her wish and becomes pregnant (after barely even kissing
the entire season, sex still finds a way!), and very soon after she
announces this, she has a relapse of her illness. Nagisa's parents
and Tomoya realize her chances of surviving her pregnancy might not
be too good unless she opts for an abortion, but Nagisa wants this
baby and holds out for whatever chance she has. She and Tomoya decide
together that they will name their child Ushio, and Tomoya is left to
hope against hope that Nagisa will survive to be Ushio's proud and
healthy mother.
Nagisa's sickness has already prevented her from graduating in a timely manner and living like an average young woman |
This is
when everything goes downhill. Words can't really express how painful
it is to watch Nagisa look at her husband and daughter in a haze
without having the strength to carry on and live to witness the rest
of their life together. Tomoya's agony is palpable, and even though
it is difficult to watch him spiral out of control and give up his
daughter to be raised by her grandparents, it isn't hard to
understand why he would do such a thing. Nagisa had been the most
important thing to him from the very beginning, and losing her is
equivalent to him losing his entire family. She was real to him;
compared to her, Ushio is a stranger who brings back painful memories
and reminds him of everything he could have had if Nagisa had
survived.
Thankfully,
he comes back from the dead and is brought into the difficult task of
becoming a part of his daughter's life. It is agonizing for them both
at first; Ushio is unfamiliar with her gruff and distant father, and
Tomoya isn't sure how to be a part of her life without being
constantly reminded of how empty his heart is without Nagisa. Even
so, it is obvious that they both desperately need each other, and
both find it necessary to happily remember Nagisa in order to move on
together and rebuild a family. The section where Tomoya recounts all
the things he loved about Nagisa to Ushio is painful and beautiful in
equal measure, and I bawled my eyes out along with him.
Ushio's precious treasure: the first toy given to her by her father |
Things
seem to look up for Tomoya once Ushio is back in his life, but
CLANNAD is merciless.
Ushio inherited her mother's weak constitution, and succumbs to a
similar fever to the one that claimed Nagisa's life. Tomoya is
horribly shaken. After losing Nagisa, he understands that Ushio could
be lost just as easily. The one piece of happiness he has left is
slowly fragmenting in his hands, and there is nothing he can do to
save Ushio or himself.
When
winter comes, Tomoya himself becomes sick-- most likely from
heartache at what has become of his world and precious family. It is
clear that Ushio won't last much longer, and it is all Tomoya can do
to fulfill her last wish of traveling with him one more time. He
takes her outside, and she asks him to let her walk on her own two
feet, even though she has grown incredibly weak. Ushio stumbles over
and over again, and eventually falls at her father's feet. She can go
no further, and the only thing he can do to ease her pain is tell her
that they've reached their destination, and are now in a happier,
more peaceful place.
Like
her mother before her, Ushio doesn't survive. And this time neither
does Tomoya. He collapses in a heap and fades away alongside his
daughter, wondering if he made a mistake reaching out to Nagisa in
high school. Perhaps if he had never acted, she would have survived
and lived to be happy.
Many
cultures and traditions believe that words have a firm power over the
world, and that thinking and speaking negatively distorts the shape
of reality and makes growth and change impossible. On the opposite
side of the coin, thinking and speaking positively opens up the world
and makes things that seem unreachable close and obtainable. Both of
these ideas play a role in shaping the fate of the shattered and
hopeless Tomoya, whose words and actions have been both negative and
positive in turn.
First,
we return to the world of illusions where the girl (who notably
resembles Nagisa and Ushio) is dying as the scrap robot tries to find
a way to take her to the world where he feels they need to go. The
girl clings to the robot while humming Nagisa's trademark “Dango
Daikazoku” song, and tells him that their lives were once a part of
another world, and they can't stay here any longer. The dream world
begins to collapse, and the girl calls the robot 'Papa' as she slowly
fades away, indicating that her soul is the same as Ushio's, and the
robot's is the same as Tomoya's. Once the dream world is shattered,
the robot's soul joins with Tomoya's in the past, at the very moment
when he is deciding whether or not to call out to Nagisa and set the
chain of events of their relationship in motion.
The lights in the real and illusory world play a key role in Tomoya's life |
As he
watches his future wife, Tomoya succumbs to the negative power of his
words and thoughts. He loves her more than anything, but he thinks
his decision to be with her is what destroyed her life, and he cannot
bear to make the same decision again, even if his happiness depends
on it. He continues to watch her silently, refusing to sacrifice her
for his own sake once again, but as she begins to walk away, he
realizes that what they shared was more powerful than life or death,
and that he would gladly experience any amount of pain if it meant
that they could be together with whatever amount of time they have.
He at last calls out to her, and she turns around to tell him that
she is happy he chose her, and that this time around he won't have to
be afraid that he made the wrong choice. By purging the worst and
most bitter of his regrets, Tomoya sets himself free of the negative
outcome of his doubts and allows himself to be pulled back through
time by the memory of Nagisa.
If you were given the chance to redo a painful choice, how would you respond? |
When he
resurfaces, he's back at Nagisa's side at the moment she's giving
birth to Ushio. He's lost his memories of the future he had once
undergone, but a part of him is terrified that he's seconds away from
losing her forever. However, something is different this time; Nagisa
reawakens after losing consciousness, and wants to hold and bathe her
daughter. The happy couple looks outside their window to see orbs of
light soaring across the city, a mark of what has changed since the
first time these events unfolded.
The
orbs of light represent the positive thoughts, words, and actions
Tomoya has taken on the behalf of others, which are finally able to
shape his fate now that he has let go of the darkness inside of his
heart. In a sense, he is being lifted from a self-inflicted curse
brought about by his decision not to fully reach out and take his
happiness without wondering what could have been. The imagery in this
scene is beautiful and moving, the perfect way to put a close on such
an emotional series.
Positive actions have power: power to change, and pave the road to a better future |
As an
English major, I adore the idea of having words and thoughts mean the
difference between happiness and unhappiness. Tomoya's inability to
accept that his relationship with Nagisa is a beneficial and
necessary thing in a sense poisons his life and prevents it from
reaching a happy conclusion. He can't go through the world thinking
that he is a destructive presence to both Nagisa and Ushio, and that
by changing Nagisa's life for the better, he was ultimately
responsible for her destruction. Ushio's sacrifice in the illusionary
world gives him the chance to try again and realize for himself that
no matter what happens and what ending his life reaches, it is
meaningless unless he accepts that Nagisa needs to be a part of it.
The conclusion he reaches is powerful enough to dispel the curse
placed on his fate, and all the good he's done in the lives of others
is paid back to him when the things most precious to him are saved.
Now
that I've blabbed for so long, it's probably time to stop being so
spoilerific and reach my own conclusion to this post!
END OF
SPOILERS
CLANNAD
is quite possibly among the best
and most beautiful series I have ever watched. I have rarely been so
moved as I was by the way the message and characters were used to
emphasize how our happiness is dependent on what we do for others,
and most importantly, what we do to make life worth living for
ourselves. Tomoya and Nagisa are characters I won't soon forget, and
one day I hope to reach the level of maturity where I can be content
with the decisions I've made in my life, even the difficult ones,
just as the protagonists were at the show's conclusion. This is what
excellent storytelling is all about, so thank you CLANNAD!
On a lighter note, next up will be... Junjou Romantica!
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